MotherSON award winning performance in Redlands
-And how an almost thirty year old play about coming out is infuriatingly relevant today
It’s quiet in the hall of the Congregation Emanu El of Redlands that Saturday evening on May 2nd. We’re waiting for Brad Levi (played by Jeffrey Solomon), the adult son to Mindy (also played by Solomon) picking up his phone to make an important call.
Through a dizzying amounts of back and forth conversations between son and mother, a heartfelt relationship arises but not without serious strains and disappointments. Brad is gay, he tells his mom. She replies, are you sure? In a classic Jewish New Yorker accent. How can you be sure? Mom, he says, I’ve always known.
You would think it’s confusing watching someone embody two people on stage, but Solomon has been playing this role for 28 years, to accolades and awards. He knows what he is doing, we are never lost. We love this son, and his at times misguided mom.
Local non-profit Together for Redlands had invited their supporters for a fundraiser evening watching the performance ‘MotherSON’ followed by a panel discussion. More about that in a bit.
I’ve been meaning to write about this for the past weeks but the UC Riverside Writers Week Festival and a visit to Adelanto got in the way.
The heartbreak Mindy feels learning about her son’s identity goes from doubt, disappointment, embarrassment to acceptance with conditions, until a situation around a card table makes her fierce support and love for her gay son out into the open. We laugh when she tells her son, I came out too! Her cringe worthy questions to her son feels authentic and I loved how the son reacted with such patience maneuvering her through the minefield of cliches and fears that still today mares the LGBTQ+ discourse.
The play was mirroring and inspired by Jeffrey Solomon’s own relationship with his mom. And when Mindy in the play keeps her sickness hidden from her son because she’s afraid of how he reacts, the stabs to your hearts were deep and thorough. Don’t we all have secrets? But how and why do we keep them? Often it’s because of the fear of rejection.
At one point a montage of moms participating in the PRIDE parade in New York flickered on the white wall. Here were the examples of parents loving their kids no matter what, no strings attached, no conditions. My breath got caught in my throat thinking about the many (so many, too many) young people who even today are shunned by their families when they come out.
That’s why it was so timely that the local chapter of Free Mom Hugs were present at the event. It’s an organization that provides visibility, conversation and education with the hope of reconciling relationships. Their members show what it means to accept, love, affirm and embrace every LGBTQIA+ person. I think Mindy Levy (or Solomon’s mom) would have been a member if she was alive today.
After the show, the panel discussion participants were Nena Hernandez, Jennifer Jones, Daisy Gardener and Jeffrey Solomon.
Mike Paisner from Together for Redlands said a few words. “We live in a difficult time right now, it is a very challenging time but what gives me hope is seeing community coming together like we are this evening. Seeing people share their stories like Jeffrey did and we appreciate him sharing parts of himself with us that is so important.”
Together for Redlands is one of the organizations working to rid the current Redlands Unified School Board of its extreme right wing1 turn which includes vilifying LGBTQ and banning books among other things. Back to the panel.
Jennifer Jones is a teacher in Riverside, a mother of a trans child who was also targeted and doxxed for playing sports in school.
Nena Hernandez is a legal document assistant and mediator, a mother to a trans child who was targeted and doxxed for playing sports in school.
Daisy Gardener is a tv writer and producer, a mother to a trans child, and a school board advocate.
Each mother could relate to Mindy’s struggles in the play, though the panel have managed to reach the acceptance stage while their kids were still kids.
“For me the hardest thing was knowing that the world wasn’t celebrating a kid like mine,” Jones said.
Gardener said she told her kid that gender is a spectrum, because she knew the amount of transphobia in society and wanted to shield her kid from that. Maybe her kid wasn’t trans? But at the same time, she knew, that “Referring a kid to their preferred pronouns will decrease depression by like 90%”
“Even as a liberal person I messed up,” Gardener said. “But I like to think that I’ve come a long way.” She said it was a gift Solomon gave his mom to be understanding throughout her journey of coming to terms with his homosexuality. She added, “I think being trans in 2026, every single day that you get up and face the world, you deserve an Emmy making it through.”
“Of course the journey is different for a gay man,” Solomon said. “I think the intensity and the prejudice today against trans people is particularly brutal and it does remind me of when I placed that story. I thank you all for being here and sharing.”
Hernandez said that they have experienced many people supporting them, on the sidelines and on the team. But people from the outside have come with different more sinister intents. “I understand everybody has their own opinion, their own beliefs, I just don’t think it’s right for people to attack a child. That’s where I’m drawing my line,” she said.
It was sad listening to Jones explaining how her husband did not accept their child which ultimately made them get a divorce. She said, “I’m going to pick my kid any day over somebody else.” Today six years later, the dad still calls his kid by their previous name and refuse to acknowledge their identity.
Each mom in the panel were in awe of their trans kids unapologetic presence in the world. Their kids showed their parents bravery as an inspiration.
“This kid, my baby, has gone through so much. National headlines,” Hernandez said who were grateful both she and her husband were supportive of their child. Our current president singled her out, one in the panel chimed. “Abby is confronting this whole nation. Not a lot of people can do that,” she said. “And her being able to get up every day and just having her authentic self, that has shown me that is very courageous,”
Jones said that she herself was not courageous when a law suit was filed against her kid being on the sports team, and she asked her kid to quit the team. “You can’t really affect any change by feeling comfortable,” Jones said her kid had told her. “She [Jones’ kid] is an organizer, she’s spoken at the Capitol, she’s put herself in the limelight and I’m scared all the time.”
When the attacks on these trans kids playing on their schools‘ sports team began, Jones and Hernandez spoke to LA Times anonymously. The second time, AB Hernandez was in the paper with her face and name public. These kids have gotten death threats and yet, they hold their heads high. “I’m really in awe of the bravery these two families have,” Gardner said.
The last question of the night was for parents who may be struggling to understand or support their child, what would you want them to hear tonight?
Jones: “Just listen to your kid. A lot of people say it’s a phase. So what if it’s a phase, at least they know that you are supporting them” + “Be curious, ask them questions, you don’t know what their experience is like, and they need to know that you are going to have their back.”
Hernandez: “We need to listen to our children who know the best themselves. Learn and be ready to educate yourself and don’t assume” + “Be patient.”
Gardner: “My kids problem at the moment is AP physics,” she said. Her comment was such a good reminder to remember that these kids’ identities are not only being trans. “It’s a relief once you don’t have to think about it and everyone just is who they are. Can you imagine! That is just such a better place to be as a family and a world and I hope America gets to that point too where they don’t think about anybody else’s business.”
She added, “Find community” + “Trans kids are the favorite kids I’ve ever met, they are the brightest, most interesting, fun people you’ll meet.”
As the evening concluded, Rabbi Cantor Jennifer Bern-Vogel from Emanu El Redlands said: “I just want to say it was an honor and a privilege to have everyone here tonight, to have Jeffrey’s show, amazing. It’s about love, acceptance and listening to one another, that’s all we can do and we have to be there for one another. Thank you.”
I kept thinking about the statistics that less than 1% of the US population identifies as trans and yet hundreds of bills have been introduced to target trans people, take away their healthcare, hate-filled rhetoric is used as political bait on the extreme right and the number of violence, murder and suicide is staggering to the point that some call it a genocide.
Read more here: https://reports.hrc.org/an-epidemic-of-violence-2024#national-emergency
There is so much talk about trans lives but seldom from their own viewpoint or their families’. Getting to know more, is the first step against hate, targeting and division. Something we can do more of on all kinds of issues and I’m glad we have people reaching out and finding ways to do that here in Redlands.
Look at how a community takes care of the most vulnerable among them, and it will show you the strength of that community. Together for Redlands is showing us by being an example: A community that cares. You can support and donate to the cause in the embedded link.
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In Gratitude,
Siw
Beautifully written, Siw.